Although relationships can go on forever, they also tend to break down as intimacy grows weaker and can cause sex problems in relationships. Lack of trust, fear of abandonment, fear of rejection, fear of commitment, and various other reasons can cause a lack of intimacy and can lead to breakdowns in relationships.
Although lack of intimacy can be deadly in relationships, there still lies various ways to revive intimacy and fix sex problems in relationships. Both intimacy and sex are important factors of a romantic, healthy, and long-lasting relationship.
The first step to feel more comfortable around your partner is to understand the causes of intimacy issues in relationships and ways to fix them. However, dealing with sexual intimacy issues in relationships is easier said than done as it will require synergy from you and your partner for a considerable time.
10 Ways to Deal With Lack of Intimacy and Sex Problems in Relationships
1. Communicate Often
Although communication is the key to a happy and healthy relationship, many partners find it difficult to do so. Without communication, a relationship cannot progress, and the individual can even find themselves felling depressed and anxious.
It is not necessary to talk about work/home problems or where the relationship is going; you can start a simple conversation by complimenting the weather, about food, or any other positive day-to-day thing.
A slow start is far better than a no start, and a simple conversation can save your relationship from spiralling into negativity. Moreover, communicating with your partner is an easy solution to increase trust and can even solve problems in the bedroom relationship.
2. Being Attentive
An unstable emotional connection can be caused by various intimacy issues from either or both partners. Lack of emotional intimacy can lead to sexual issues in a relationship and can cause conflicts.
Being attentive and immersively listening to your partner is an easy solution to make up for emotional intimacy. Lend an ear to your partner and listen to their problems carefully, put a break to sexual activities, and spend some quality time with each other by doing common activities that you and your partner will enjoy.
However, if there is still a lack of emotional intimacy, then seeing a sex therapist would be for the best to prevent your relationship from breaking down.
3. Fear of Performance
Anxiety about being unproductive and the fear of not sexually satisfying your partner are common sexual impotence in many relationships. This fear can lead to anxiety and communication issues towards your partner and can cause serious sexual relationship problems for a lifetime.
Fear of performance is a common intimacy issue in relationships and are one of the biggest sexual fear of men. Talking it out with your partner can help in boosting self-esteem, and a little foreplay before your make-out session is also an easy way to get past this fear and can also solve the sex problems in relationship.
However, the fear of performance in women is often not discussed, which is influenced by media and the internet. We often tend to impose unrealistic expectations on our partners. Intimacy should be a safe place with lots of acceptance and non-judgment.
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4. Don’t Plant Unrealistic Expectations
It is not necessary that both partners would have similar expectations during their make-out sessions; each one comes with their own experiences and expectations.
It is not necessary that your partner would have the fantasy body you had imagined. Physical attraction is often driven by unrealistic beauty standards, which can be harmful to the self-esteem of the people involved in the relationship.Moreover, unrealistic expectation is common in new relationships and sometimes can be caused due to certain misunderstanding.
Although sexual experience can teach you to be realistic, you can also consult a sex therapist to learn more about being respectful and understanding of your needs and your partner’s needs. Unrealistic expectations combined with miscommunication can be the demise of a relationship, so let’s avoid that. Learn to love each other for who you are.
5. Include Foreplay Before Sexual Intercourses
Whatever erotic thoughts come to your mind can be put into action in foreplay and can also be the key to solving your sex problems in the relationship. Although foreplay is an easy way to get aroused and enjoy a satisfactory make-out section, many couples avoid it by thinking of it as an awkward activity.
Yeah, sure, foreplay can be awkward at the start, but you can start them with different types of kisses and can slowly spark things up. Moreover, foreplay can be even better with a little communication of likes and dislikes and can even solve sex problems in relationship.
Furthermore, the internet is filled with various foreplay methods, and you can easily find some that both you and your partner can enjoy before your make-out sessions. And trust us when we say, foreplay can be fun for both. Our little tip, consent is sexy, always ask your partner before indulging in foreplay.
6. Arousal Issues
Humans aren’t machines, and it is neither necessary nor worth arguing over if a partner is aroused while the other is not. While, of course, attraction can fade over time, more often or not, arousal issues can be caused due to psychological factors such as anxiety or physical factors like biochemical, hormonal, or other organic issues.
One of the most common and effective ways to tackle arousal issues is through communication and foreplay, sharing with each other your sexual likes and dislikes, and opening up healthy conversations on sexual history and trigger points. It’s advised not to create unnecessary pressure on each other, and if you are still having arousal issues, then tell your partner to postpone your sexual intercourse.
However, if you or your partner is still having a tough time getting aroused, the best solution would be to see a specialis trather than jumping to conclusions about trust or attraction.
7. Premature Ejaculation
It is the most common sexual problem in relationships for men. Although erectile dysfunction can be treated with medication, it is not a wise choice to go on that road until recommended by a doctor.
Premature ejaculation can be treated by investing some time in kegel and pelvic exercises. Moreover, it is a common problem that many people go through, and there is no shame in discussing it with your partner, as it might even be caused due to diabetes, kidney disease, or other physical problems that need to be treated.
However, premature ejaculation can also be caused due to psychological issues, which are best to be solved with your partner support and with a sex therapist.
8. Unplanned Pregnancy
Fear of unplanned pregnancy is natural and is a significant reason why relationships can have distance. This fear goes to a much larger extent if no contraception is being used.
It is the responsibility of both partners to use contraceptives during intercourse, and women can even use contraceptive pills to further lower the chances of unplanned pregnancy with a proper consultation with a doctor.
Although unplanned pregnancy is a reasonable fear, but shouldn’t lead you to shut down and distance yourself from your partner. Talking your fear out can not only help to build trust but will also create an opportunity to find solutions together.
9. Painful Intercourse
Also known as dyspareunia in the medical term can be caused due to various physical reasons such as tight pelvic muscles, bad lubrication and more. However, painful intercourse is not an uncommon issue and can be resolved with various methods.
Yoga and exercises revolving around the pelvic muscles are excellent ways to get past these problems. Furthermore, gentle arousing and slow foreplay can also help in minimizing or even eliminating this pain/discomfort. As a partner, be more understanding, accepting, and supportive if your partner experiences pain during intercourse.
If you are going through painful intercourse, then let your partner know about it, and if necessary, go to a doctor.
10. Be Affectionate
Showing affection towards your partner is an easy way to overcome a lack of intimacy and sex problems in the relationship. Small compliments can mean a lot and can even save your relationship from breaking down over pointless arguments.
However, don’t jump the gun by throwing random compliments at your partner because that can have the reverse effect. Instead, be mindful, pay attention, listen and tell them meaningful words of affection and affirmation. Make them feel heard, supported and loved.
Take your time and start with small compliments with which both you and your partner will feel comfortable.
Causes of Lack of Intimacy
Lack of intimacy in a relationship can be caused due to various reasons, and some of the most common causes are:
1. Lack of Time
A common cause of lack of intimacy is lack of time. Nowadays, everyone has become so busy that they don’t realize how much time they are spending with their partner. A lack of time can make your partner feel negligible, and if you want to improve your relationship, then make sure you spend quality time together.
Fear is a big cause of lack of intimacy. Many people fear rejection, abandonment, and being hurt. If you feel afraid of losing someone you love, then you need to talk about it. Don’t keep these feelings inside; instead, share them with your partner or even a therapist.
Stress can easily cause a lack of intimacy in any relationship. When you’re stressed, you’re less likely to show affection. Instead of showing affection, you’ll probably distance yourself from your partner. If you’re stressed, take some deep breaths and share your problems with your partner to overcome the lack of intimacy.
Anger is a big cause of lack of intimacy and is also one of the biggest reasons for breakdowns in relationships. When you’re angry, you might say or do things that you later regret. If you’re angry, try to calm down before talking to your partner.
Disrespect can be caused due to anger and stress and can mean that you don’t care about your partner. Disrespecting your partner is the worst thing you can do in a relationship go to a soothing place where no one would disturb you, like a park or rooftop.
Alcohol is a major cause of anger and disrespect and is also a major cause of lack of intimacy. A lot of people drink alcohol to forget about problems in their lives. However, if you drink too much, you won’t remember anything. So, if you want to improve your intimate relationships, then limit your drinking.
Sexual relationship types and types of love making can depend on an individual’s or couple’s preferences. However, a lack of intimacy can easily lead to sex problems in relationships, and if not resolved in time, then the whole relationship can break down.
Conversations are the best and easiest way to prevent your relationship from seeing the worst-case scenario. Moreover, make sure to match your sexual preferences with your partner to have a comfortable and satisfying make-out.