DURING this Lockdown, we have had many street food cravings, haven’t we? Aloo Chat, Papdi Chaat, Samosa Chaat, etc.
But there is a new chaat on the market – Sex Chat/online dirty chat. It was always available, but this time, it’s come into its own!! Fulfilling the whole market of cravings that makes us…drip and drool!
The quarantine made us question something that we had never thought of before – “How much porn is too much porn?”
Let me tell you, Porn is not enough anymore. Kab tak, aapna haath – Jaggannath! Life needs some more chatpata. Par Kaise?
Well, the answer is sexting chatting. I swear, it was one enthu cutlet simply sending off one brinjal emoji to his friend to say what he had for lunch.
However, this friend must’ve misunderstood the connotations of the brinjal and sent a peach emoji in reply. That, ladies and gentlemen, was the birth of online dirty talk or what we call sexting.
Firstly, our generation has really hacked into the deeper meaning of emojis. Puraane zamaane mein, people used to take texts and find out what the author was trying to say. Aajkal, we try to decipher the deeper meaning behind sexts.
That is one way. An upgraded version of that is Phone Sex. You call your partner or a person of interest and initiate the dirty talk.
Are there any benefits of sexting? It is a very effective way of getting those hormones raging like a bull.
And hello – who can see you on the other side. You may be sitting in a bunny rabbit night suit, but phone sex can make you think you are – Bunny the Stud!
One of the best sexy chat tips would be the Video Call. The ultimate mode of sex chatting. It is the equivalent of a storybook with pictures.
It seems fairly obvious what is involved in the video call sex chat: a combination of dirty talk and, well, you get the fist… gist!
In this lockdown, whether you’ve learnt a new skill or not, you have definitely stepped up your online dirty talk game. We owe it to these times to really bring out how dirty our thoughts really are.
The days used to be divided into morning, afternoon, evening, night and midnight. However, after the lockdown began, the days are divided as follows: “What time is it?
Oh shit. I slept for how long?”, “What is for lunch?”, “What is for dinner?” and “Its Horny ‘o’ Clock.”
But let’s be honest, all of us have sex chatted atleast once since we’ve gone into lockdown. If you say no, you’re probably lying.
I dare you to go to a mirror and say with a straight face – “I HAVE NOT SEX CHATTED EVEN ONCE DURING QUARANTINE” and then send across a picture of your laughing face because even you couldn’t believe it.
And yet again some sexy chat tips.
R&R apply. Rules and Regulations, not the other ones! Ask and then proceed. Read the mind and mood of the partner in chat.
Beware of hackers and watchers – all of them are very alert these days too and perhaps looking for ideas for their own Good Times.
Don’t worry. There’s no harm in sex chatting once in a while. It’s quite healthy and fun – read above once again. In case you missed it, in half a second.
To end with a quote from a great philosopher: “You need to rub it well and rub it hard.” This is a quote for washing your hands (wink).