No one can understand me! No one gets me! I am weird! Too weird to have friends! I am alone!
Do you often find yourself catching on to ‘Why No One Understands Me?’ In a room full of people you know and are friends with, is it a common scenario to feel ignored, criticized, and misunderstood most of the time?
As a result, your feelings and real self cannot find a place to exist with your acquaintances? It’s challenging and probably the hardest part of your being when no one understands you despite trying hard each day and every day.
It turns you into a person who’s immersed in their self-critical thoughts all the time and eventually into someone who feels safe to be alone rather than being in a group of people who are not open to understanding another person’s feelings.
To support what will come later in the blog, it would be safe to say that human beings are social creatures.
You can be alone for quite some time, but forever? No! Therefore, things must be fixed.
Let’s jump right into your solution!
Understand Yourself On A Deeper Level
If you are on this constant roller coaster ride of your thoughts that’s dominated by why nobody understands me, here’s something you must do.
If you don’t comprehend your thoughts and fail to understand your behavior, values, and beliefs deeply, it would be wrong on your part to expect others to understand you.
A clear example of this would be expecting support without knowing the kind of support YOU are seeking. Will that work? Think.
Check More: How To Be Happy Alone: 9 Steps To Keep You Going
If you’re wondering how to achieve self-awareness, there are a couple of things you can try. Mentioning some of them here.
- There are a number of journal prompts that can help you understand self-awareness. An example would be trying to understand the difference between how you deal with stress and how your parents react in the same situation.
- The second very effective way would be meditation. It would help you unveil your thoughts and reactions. You can find and Google many free resources online.
- If ‘Why No One Understands Me’ is bothering and affecting you beyond acceptance, a mental health professional can help you through Acceptance-Commitment Therapy.
Remember readers, there’s always a solution!
Find Out How Others Perceive You
They say a different world coexists in mind that might or might not be true what’s happening in the real world.
So there are chances your idea of what others think of you is incorrect. It can create an imbalance of understanding that leads to NOBODY UNDERSTANDS ME.
The mirroring solution here would be a confronting conversation with a mutual friend you can confide in.
Talk to them clearly about your feelings, how you are struggling with misunderstanding, and ask them what others perceive of you.
But, of course, nobody other than a close friend would be the right person to get your answers.
As a result, you can work on being on the same level of understanding by simply getting into insights of others of you.
Sounds easy? Go ahead!
Talk Often & Openly With Like-Minded People
Trying to fit in where you do not belong and think there’s something wrong with YOU might not always be the right thing to do no matter what they mean to you.
Example: Coming from a statistics background and acing is arts doesn’t make you less knowledgeable in a group of people who are killing it in stats. Your niche is different, and you belong somewhere else. Read that again!
It’s okay if your family, classmates, or even colleagues don’t get you. Connect with people who share your hobbies, interests, and thought processes.
You will automatically start analyzing the difference and where it was going wrong. You will start feeling more and more confident now along with that level of understanding that was bothering you.
You can try:
Game nights with them
You will come out as a better version of yourself!
Try A Different Approach For Self Expression
There can be a flow of emotions inside and you find it hard to bring out in conversations?
As most of you might not know this, expressing yourself in conversation and failing can make you feel miserable and depressed without you even knowing it.
So, never ever stop yourself from expressing your emotions. If one way isn’t working, try another.
Example: Try writing, painting, reading, singing, dance, journaling, or anything that feels right.
- Expressing yourself through writing has this perk of composing thoughts that otherwise could have been a bit tough. You get enough time to gather the thoughts that help you express them in the best possible way.
- The feelings you can’t put into words, let your paintings speak for you.
- Pick up your pen and paper, write some lyrics that match your current mindset, sing it like the singer out there.
- With dance, that emotional release feels very liberating. Dance your heart out.
- Read, read, and read. Deal emotional loneliness with something that makes you happy.
Remember, the most amazing quotes are born out of aches and suffering. You’re not alone.
Accept That People Might Misunderstand And It’s Okay!
Try acceptance and take disagreement lightly only to spot the difference in how powerful you feel already.
That constant urge of making yourself understood and feeling bad when substituted with IT’S OKAY works like therapy most of the time.
Or what you can try is replace being stressed out when misunderstood with ‘actually what I mean is… and be more precise than earlier.
In the process, they will understand, and you will feel more liberated with the question eliminating slowly as to why no one can understand me.
The small piece of advice here will be if people are still not ready to understand, take a step back and let it go. AGREE TO DISAGREE.
Give Vulnerability A Chance
Before we proceed further, you must listen to this viral TED talk by Brene Brown
In her TED talk on vulnerability, she very convincingly explained how our Shame loses power when we share it with an understanding friend.
A common mistake that we all commit here is choosing someone who is judgemental and critical. Make your choice wisely!
The feeling of shame that no one understands me might build up inside you if you choose not to share it.
Give shame sharing a chance by choosing the right person, and they might surprise you with the unlimited understanding they have within themselves.
This step would help you achieve acceptance we just discussed.
To start with, it won’t be wrong to say that YOU CAN’T PLEASE EVERYONE. Therefore, when no one understands you, try the tips explained above and let it go if people out there are still stubborn with their thoughts and understanding level.
Remember, you can only try!