I’ve read in classic girl code that a friend’s ex is always off the limit. It’s immoral, disrespectful and questions your loyalty towards your friend. And why would anyone opt for a relationship that comes with a huge baggage and heaps of complications?
That’s what I believed until the moral conundrum struck me one day.
Yes, I fell for my friend’s ex.
My BFF and I shared everything from clothes, beauty products, class notes to the last pizza slice. After exactly two months of the emotional breakup, I received a harmless text message from her ex. “Hi, it’s been long…”. It sent warning signals in my head. I have to admit, it was an awkward first conversation. But the chemistry and easy conversation was getting hard to ignore.
What started as harmless flirting became an addictive temptation. But everything needs a label. That’s when he made the first move- and asked me out. His intense surge of affection, his thrilling advances, his desire for exclusivity was all too good to be true.
My head was reeling with a number of questions. Would the guilt and awkwardness be worth it? Would my friend ever trust me again? Can I trust myself to make the right choice?
The yes in my head finally came out as a no, as I sent him a text the next morning. The last thing I wanted to do was burn the bridges with someone who lent a supportive shoulder after every break-up.
Because contrary to what Friends or Sex and The City would have us believe, not every love triangle works out at the end of 22 minutes of the show.
Clearly, there were no exceptions to this number 1 rule in the unspoken girl code and I was not risking things with my friend.
It’s been 5 years and the guy is still single, and so am I. I’m going to be by my friend’s side as she walks down the aisle someday. And she will stay by my side to prevent me from running away from my own wedding.
Was the heart-break worth it? It definitely was.
Have you ever fallen for your friend’s ex? What did you do?
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